i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
