Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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