I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
