Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
