You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
the day after is always just damage control
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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