Your face is a jimmy john
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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