I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
