I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
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She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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