I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
