Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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