and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You made out with two different species that night
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
