put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
