i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
A+ Viking dick
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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