are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
either way he was missing a nipple.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
