I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
they need to just BURY HIM!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
