i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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