It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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