youre lurking in front of me
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
