think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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