do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
