i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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