If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
