she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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