he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
