Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
