Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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