Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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