Cold hands, warm shart.
Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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