all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
