I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
