i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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