just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
