You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
