only if we run a train.
done.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
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Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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