I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
