based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
