I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize