you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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