If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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