does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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