Your face is a jimmy john
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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