Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
