please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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