It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
