so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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