genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize