Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
