How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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