I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
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