ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I have fence marks all over my body
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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