There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
