So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
