By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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