Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
