so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
