those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize