Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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