What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i now understand why vodka
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
