he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
