This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
