Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
