What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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