omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
