the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
